How to rob a bank

I was queuing up for an ATM at Suntec City when the couple in front of me bounced to the next ATM.

Curious, I wondered what was wrong with the ATM...



Apparently POSB ATM's run on Windows XP.

Which means its security has as many holes as a proctologists' convention.

I hate sleep

I hate sleep because I tend to do too much of it; missing activities and lunch. The lunch part especially!! I'm going to be skinnier than an Afghan kid on a diet soon if I keep missing my lunches thanks to sleep.

So anyway I just woke up at approximately 3pm. Yeah you can blame that on last night at Zouk. (Then again other days where I don't club I end up waking up this late anyway - go figure.)

Quite fucked for morning classes. Goddamn.

Set a CORS for nowhere!

I'm doing my CORS thing.. pretty much at random.

I like university. I get to take whatever the fuck catches my interest and I even get credits for them.

Modern Archi-techy sounds great. Yeappp I'm just made for it.



A discourse on huge phallic symbols? Why not! It's made of 100% authentic WIN.

But that's not  too awesome. It'll be 500% more awesome if I can put together my own module via suggestions to the dean.

I'll call it GEK1066 - Introduction to Lethal Device Construction.

If I get a budget I'll import actual experienced IED engineers from the University of Baghdad.


Prof Achmed: "Slowly attach the trigger to the ammonium nitrate....SLOWLY! Or I KILL you!"


KABOOM
!!

"..YOU FOOL! SLOWLY!!! I KILL YOU! ...oh wait you dead hahahah! I  made joke!!"


EDIT: Apparently I can't take Archi-Techi cos I've maxed out my MC's (20). Uni is somewhat awesome for forcing me to work less.

IKEA and musics.

Went to IKEA yesterday with Cui'n.



It seems IKEA is offering more than just furniture....



They have glory holes too. Like seriously, wtf.

If you don't know what a glory hole is, please Google it. You will be pleased...

On another note (literally), the IKEA glass cups form a scale if you find the right ones...



I managed to set up a C-major scale from C to G (by ear haha I'm awesome). Don't believe me? Here's a video:


I would've played a full song.. except Cui got paiseh'd since everyone was staring...

Then there were some vases set in some minor key. Which is awesome for cheena musik!


I'm jobless haha.

Hall'ed

People!! I have left my bohemian lifestyle of complete slacking back home and moved to a residence within the campus of a prominent Singaporean university.

The Hall's name sounds not unlike a tool used to prune bushes and other Shabery Cheek shrubbery.


The Room. Small but livable. The floors are greasy tho.. yuck.


The bed. Where all the action happens. Oh yeah.


An inspirational message on the toilet door for those with... problems of a constipatory nature.

Okay so now you know I'm alive and survived the journey on Malaysian highways.

Now it's off to figure out CORS, UEM, USP, WTF, OMG and other fucking acronyms. Not cool.

Seriously, acronyms are only cool if they're used to label weapons. Like MOAB (Mother Of All Bombs) or MANPADS (no it's not a panty-liner for men - it's MAN Portable Air Defence System) or SODOMY (Strike Offensive Destructive Ordinance - Medium Yield).

Commitments

No more excessive computering all night. Imma limit 10pm - 1am. Rawr.

Oh and SLC Day 4 is about half complete. Imma finish up to at least Day 5 before Thursday.

Damn I'm turning this blog into a to-do list thing lol.

Cotton Candy

“Gosh did you know what my boyfriend did the other time?” she excitedly gushes.

Her favourite topic. This is followed by telephone conversations with the oft-mentioned beau. Said conversations of course involve her making sure the whole room knows that she loves him, and to what degree.

Naturally, reluctant eavesdroppers are also made aware of the random nicknames she has for her beloved. How could they not? She chats at a rapid pace, constantly throwing out “hunnybunch” or “sweetie” or “pumpkin” or “candyass” (well maybe not) like they were punctuations in a sentence.

That would only consist of half her telecommunication with the beau. There’s the constant ramming of her phone’s digits with her manicured fingers as she texts him throughout the day. Aforementioned texts would have enough allusions to various sweet objects that it can be mistaken for Cadbury’s menu.

Such is only when she’s away from her computer. Otherwise its constant Instant Messaging chats with him (they look like photocopied versions of her phone’s messages). Or blogging about him, so all her friends are reminded how much he means to her.

If they forget, there’s always her Facebook main display picture, her MSN display picture, or the numerous shots of her in ridiculous poses with the boyfriend splashed across the internet.

How shallow. How superficial. How stupid.

But love was never designed to be intellectual.

How could it?

It is meant to get two unsuspecting individuals to raise a demanding, loud, messy, destructive little “bundle of joy” that they spawn together. There is certainly no intelligence in that.

Thus I see no shame in wanting something as such.

Even though I can certainly see how it can be annoying.

However, it sure as hell doesn’t hurt to know at every minute of the day that someone out there is just absolutely bonkers about you. (I have short term memory you see, I have to be constantly reminded.) She has to be. Why else would she have talked off her friends’ ears about you?

Not that I’m saying such superficial relationships will last. Or that they’ll be great by any measure. It’s just selfish affirmation-seeking that it panders to.

It’s like cotton candy – it’s sweet, full of empty calories and leaves you feeling hungry in a short while. But we still love it, don’t we?

One week she’ll be there, gushing about her beau. The next she’s gone like Hillary Clinton from the presidential race, on to the next one.

Who gives a fuck anyway? Girls like that are a dime a dozen and easily caught up with assholes such as moi. Haha.

Sekian, terima kasih.

(PS: No my girlfriend is in no way like that. She's like a hearty meal - satisfies me in every way :D I'm just randomly musing on the benefits of a bimbo ah lian girlfriend LOL)