July 14th, 2008

The Bawang ed1

Massive Roadblock Party Held at Jalan Klang Lama

13th July, 2008

KUALA LUMPUR- Earlier today the major Roadblock Party @ Jalan Klang Lama event was held by the most happening event organizers in Malaysia, Polis Raja Di Malaysia (PRDM).

Roadblock Party drew over 50,000 motorists from across the Klang vallley, making this event the biggest of its kind. In comparison, the previous event held by PRDM, Money Or Station (M.O.S), had only 5,600 attendees.

Last year's M.O.S event

"We put more effort into the event this time around," PRDM chief events manager, I.G Tan Sri Musa comments. "There's certainly more personel involved. Additionally, compared to M.O.S last year, we have a much larger venue available."

Booking the entire Jalan Klang Lama, PRDM had a venue stretching over 40km to host the event. The massive undertaking required hundreds of personel to work over the afternoon setting up equipment for the rave party.

"No cost was spared in the preparation for this event," Musa continues. "We wanted to ensure that this would be the most memorable Roadblock Party of its kind for a long time."

Chief events manager, Tan Sri Musa

Festivities began at 6.50pm. A massive build up of motorists had already gathered at the venue. A blockage of two lanes officially started the event.

"It was absolutely awesome!" says reveler S.A Tan,"I rushed from work to make it in time for the first blockage. When I was swept up in a 2km long Roadblock Jam I knew this was it - the event of the year."

An upbeat atmosphere permeated the festivities, with loud blaring of vehicular horns from party revelers. Moods flared as motorists weeved their vehicles through the roadblocks. Soon the venue was a full-blown roadblock party, with bumper-to-bumper traffic spanning for kilometers in all directions.

Adding to the atmosphere were the decorations set up by PRDM. Traffic cones, barricades and siren lights were abundant adding plenty of colour to the otherwise dull Jalan Klang Lama.

Remixes of popular phrases like 'IKUT JALAN KIRI' were blared through loudspeakers, courtesy of in-house DJ Constable Achmed. In addition there was a performance by PRDM's very own Policemen with White Gloves dance group. They performed  their world-famous direct-traffic-hand-signal dance.

DJ Constable Achmed

"I was having so much fun burning petrol! All throughout I was hoping the event would never end", exclaims Jamie, a 24 year old sales manager.

Unfortunately, the event did come to an end at around 11:45pm, as the event organisers packed up their equipment and vacated the venue. Slowly, Jalan Klang Lama cleared as tired party-goers left the event.

"We are happy to announce that the event went without a hitch," says a beaming Musa. "There was only a slight problem with crazy environmentalists claiming our event causes global warming. That is nonsense. Global warming causes carbon dioxide, not the other way around."

Note that you have to be membabi stupid to not see that this is a parody, both of our dedicated Polis DiRaja Malaysia (PDRM) and of Onion News. If you still don't get it, kindly neuter yourself to preserve the quality of the human gene pool. Thank you.