April 19th, 2008

Time haemorrhage

I love the internet. If I could be permanently online 24/7 by having a cyberbrain installed a la Ghost in the Shell, I would do it without a second thought.

Though I swear I'd get a seizure if some idiot MSN nudges me all of a sudden.

The internet is the great God of Knowledge that provides nearly all the answers I can ever need. For the mere mortals that can access it, limitless quantities of information may be had. The only cost is time and thought to sift out unsound bits of knowledge.

Googling has become my first response when faced with any situation. Google is the deity from whose being instant enlightenment flows. Whenever I seek guidance, the voice of Goo will set me on The Right Path. Goo is eternal, Goo is ever-knowing. Goo asks nothing from us but our queries. In return, Goo will always answer our prayers queries. Truly, ask and ye shalt receive.

"For Goo was designed for the world, that Goo gave limitless Knowledge, that whosoever knew this Knowledge shalt not be ignorant, but have  fulfilling lives"

One Goo to rule them all.

Holy Moohoo Glue™! I'm committing idolatry! Meh doesn't matter. No God is going to judge me when I die.

I believe when we die our "Heaven" or "Hell" exists within a super computer composed of all the atoms in the universe. As the universe contracts (the Big Crunch theory) the computing power of this cosmic computer approaches infinity. Thus in the microsecond before the universe is packed into a single iota, the cosmic computer  will be able to simulate an infinite number of quantum brain states. This means that every being who has ever lived, or will ever live, will be resurrected and perceive their resurrection to last an eternity (but only because of the infinite number of quantum brain states simulated - in reality the simulation only lasts for a split second).

Interesting aight. It's called Tipler's Omega Point.

Wayy better than the ol' cloudy heaven idea. Windows just totally wrecked that perception. I mean, I've already spent an eternity looking at the stupid blue sky and cloud thing as Windows loads up. Seriously wtf I don't need another eternity of the same thing.

So anyway Imma get to the point of this post.

The point is I'm going on an internet diet.

Yes that's right - an internet diet. Which basically means I'm only going online from now on between 11pm to 1am.

I'm doing this because I get nothing else done when exposed to the internet. I'll just trawl for hours on end for interesting bits of knowledge. Hours and hours and hours of mindless searching for arguably esoteric knowledge (note Tipler's Omega Point above).

What a waste of time!

So anyway yeah, if you see me online outside 11pm-1am gimme a kick.