April 3rd, 2008

Warp drive!

I freaking love driving.

(Okay only if you factor out other psychopathic drivers, potholes in the road, traffic jams, rising fuel costs, etc etc but you get the idea).

It is the sensation of going much faster than you can on foot, the thrill of movement. The way in which a slight increase in pressure by your foot brings the engine up to a harmonious roar, and the pavement rips past you blindingly as your tires gnash the road beneath.

But after awhile it's not all that thrilling anymore. It loses its novelty, and you realise you need more oomph with your driving experience.

Thus I have a confession to make....



I ruined a steering torsion bar in my dad's car...

...because I had a wild time powersliding the vehicle around bends whenever I could.

Honestly there is no experience quite like it. You slam the steering wheel 90° to the left turning the car sharply. Just as the centripetal forces are at its maximum you yank the handbrake, and the rear wheels lose traction. The car oversteers and you watch in awe as the scenery outside moves sideways past your windshield...

It is surreal, almost like as if you're playing a video game.

Real-life 2.0 driving game!
Driving in Real-Life 2.0.

Driving never feels the same again. It is like discovering the joy of sex or the taste of chocolate - you can't imagine going back to the old dull life without these things.

...except of course I don't wanna destroy my dad's car, so I'm laying off the addictive adrenaline-pumping stunts for awhile.

On driving, the most ridiculous thing happened a few weeks ago.

Here I was, driving back home taking the usual route into my housing area (which is a semi-legal u-turn into a rather narrow road).

It was a good thing I was driving cautiously because smack in the middle of the road was the most freakin preposterous thing blocking my path:

"Yeah, a dog. So??"

Look closer... It was a dog having a shit in the middle of the road.

To make things worse, the dog was constipated or something, for it sure took its time to take a dump.

I flashed my headlights at it, thinking "Aw c'mon! You gotta be kidding me!" and the damned dog just stared back.

"Wait the fuck up till I finish my business, boy!"

Ridiculous. It's a good thing I'm all for animal rights or I would've run over the stupid thing, mushing it together with its faeces. Some balls the dumb canine had, staring me down as it shat for a full five minutes!!