March 31st, 2008

Burger Lembu Ramlee

Damnit my phone's on a fritz after it was supposedly serviced by the folks who sold it to me. Now I can't even upload photos from it... stupid morons.

So anyway I was in Singapore last week to mail off my applications.

Yeah yeah I could've done it from here. But that'll be as boring as a wood-boring worm watching a drop of water dry on cement. Yes, that is supposed to be boring; unless you have a worm fetish or you get turned on by cement. In which case I do not what to know about your sex-life.

Eh wtf you're supposed to stop me from digressing >:(

Moving on... the one thing I both like and hate about Singapore is the MRT system.

Love it cos it's fucking efficient. The only time you'd have to wait for a train longer than 6 minutes is if someone tries to kill himself on the tracks or if you stupidly decided to plonk your ass in the station after it is closed (in which case you really should try to kill yourself on the tracks).

Hate it because of the lembus who ride the MRT.


Yes, lembu or cow. Ima tell you why...

During rush hour when you wanna board the train, the boarding passengers can be divided into two groups:
  1. Those who are trying to get onboard.
  2. Those who are already on the train.

The contention you see, is that like robotic drones or herding cows each type has a pre-programmed behavioral pattern.

Those who haven't gotten on board the train are inclined to shove their way in, ensuring they don't get kiap-ed when the door closes.

However when they have moved a sufficient distance into the train (read: 1 meter) they suddenly change into the other type, the ones who are already on the train.

They realise out of the blue that there is no longer a need to shove their way in since they are onboard and away from the dangerous MRT kiap doors.

Thus they decide that instead of being considerate and letting other passengers get on board, they should congregate around the closest pole and start stripping and pole-grinding.

Of course this congests the path into the train leading to more pushing and shoving by the former group of passengers.

The worst part is of course being caught somewhere in between both groups. On one side you have lembus shoving you to get on. On the other side you have the fucking Great Immovable Wall of China that would refuse to budge and move deeper into the train. Between the two of them you become a sodomised pancake. Brilliant.

The moral of the story: Either walk or don't take the train during rush hour.