halobenzene

IT Mamak

2008-07-06T18:59:11Z

Last Tuesday, Dinesh, the missus and I went to makan at Ali Maju kat PBD.

Biasa lah, so I'll skip the unnecessary details.

When we went to pay aight, something on the Ali Maju business card intrigued Dinesh, for one reason:

It had an email address and website listed.

Dinesh: "Wahhhhh mamak these days very advanced ar!! Got website all!"
Me: "Ya lah. Ali MAJU ma!"
Cashier: =_____=

What's next?

Online food order and delivery service?

YouTube advertisment? Ah, wait - RK Eating House already does that.

Mamaks even have a theme song:

And... they even have a Wikipedia entry...

HAHA WAIT!!!!!!

OMFG I started that page a loooong time ago!!!!

Other users have added more sections to it, but there's still parts of my original post still there.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have made my mark on the world. Thus, I can die happy now.

Made of Fight

2008-07-02T20:41:32Z

It's becoming a common theme in my dreams lately.

I fight in my dreams.

Not the pussified hair-pulling and face-slapping kind of fights either. My fights are full contact engagements.

Just this evening I took on a man twice my size. Apparently the way I was looking at him didn't really bring out his pacifist nature. He confronted me; I didn't back down or feel intimidated.

I'm fuzzy about what happened next, but I clearly remember giving him facial reconstructive surgery - without the anesthesia or surgical instruments.

All throughout I am permeated by this surge of euphoria as his nasal bones fractured like bloody Koko Krunch.

There was no remorse, no sympathy. There was only aggression. I drove yet another fist into his gut. My cold mind hummed in the background, ensuring I inflicted maxiumum blunt trauma.

I say this with no shame: it felt good. It felt like a huge relief, like a weight off my shoulders.

Suddenly I see the immense genius behind Fight Club. Damn.

I am definitely Jack's pent up aggression.

Aku Kena Tag

2008-07-01T19:56:46Z

Tagged by Nigel

7 fakta tentang saya

Ada 2 mata
Ada 2 telinga
Ada 2 lubang hidung
Ada 2 tangan
Ada 2 kaki
Ada 2 tetek
Tapi hanya 1 konek

7 perkara yang menakutkan

LIPAS!!!
Pemandu teruk
Penunggang motorsikal teruk
Orang dangkal
Orang dangkal yang memandu atau menunggang kenderaan
Menaiki KTM yang penuh sampai tak boleh nafas
"Aroma" para penumpang KTM yang lain

7 lagu paling digemari ketika ini:

Jason Mraz - Aku Kau Punya
Justin Tasikbalak dan 50 Sen - Dia Mahukan Itu (AIYO Teknologi)
Ludacris dan Pharrel - Goncangkan Pembuat Duit Anda
John Lagenda - P.D.A. (Kami tak Kisah)
Chris Perang - Dengan Anda
Flo Penunggang dan T-Sakit - Rendah
ChaJutawan - Menunggang Kotor

7 perkara paling bernilai:

Keluarga
Keng-kawan
Kekasih
Computer bimbit saya
Telefon bimbit saya
Minda dan ketahuan saya
Kehidupan

7 perkara yang paling meletup di mulut saya sekarang:

Boom de yada boom de yada
TUNGGU... TUNGGU... EH MELAYU, TUNGGU AH! (dicuri dr Comedy Court)
How I kneo? Mebbe he bruff yuu? How I kneo? Mebbe yuu ugry?? (juga dicuri dr Comedy Court)
Wah, fucker never signal!
There's this one time.... (bermulalah cerita cock saya)
So cute la you...
=__= (senyap saja)

7 pertama kali di dalam hidup saya:

Saya tak faham kehendak soalan
Saya cuba mejawab soalan walaupun tidak memahaminya
Saya pertama kali bernafas pada 14hb April 1988
Saya pertama kali melihat dunia pada 14hb April 1988
Saya pertama kali menjalini hubungan seks pada.. saya budak baik ok! Kalau korang pikir yg bukan2 saya terpaksa pigi rumah engkau sepak datuk nenek mak bapak abang kakak adik anda sampai mati tergolek.
Saya pertama kali rasa cinta... dulu-dulu...bila dinosaur masih lagi merayau-rayau.
Pertama kali saya guna begini banyak BM sejak mendengar joke si Maria Gimik punya sepupu:

"Pukul apa sekarang?"
"Sekarang pukul mak kau sampai merah!"

7 orang yang kena jawab tag ini:

Sesiapa la. Saya takder kisah.

Lappy Toppy

2008-06-30T09:29:30Z

Yes if you were astute enough to pick up from my previous post...

I HAVE A NEW LAPTOP <3

It's a...

Acer Aspire 4920 (Linux Edition)

Intel Core 2 Duo T7500 (2.2GHz, 800MHz FSB, 4MB L2 Cache)
1 GB DDR2 RAM
250GB Western Digital HD

The rest is all standard stuff... DVD, Bluetooth, 14.1" screen, Intel integrated graphics...

...oh and a very excellent 2MP webcam along with a pretty awesome sound system that's great for webcamming.

Do note the T7500 processor and the 800MHz FSB. Most other contemporary laptops have systems that run at 633MHz FSB which means this is ~~bigger harder stronger~~ faster.

All that for RM2550, which makes the machine a bargain. A similar 800MHz FSB machine from other manufacturers would go for a much higher rate. And that's even when you subtract about RM200 to take into consideration the useless Windows Vista they're providing you with.

On another note, lately I've been receiving some spam sparodically from unknown numbers.

From: +60123739306
Yg nak tengok video Hebat Ku?Tulis ON BELL htr ke 33933.ADA MP3,MTV dan sbgainya menunggu.Yg.Semua Pdftrn FREE Tunggu ya babe.Minta hbhkan.Frm:BeLL(fwd Msg)

Translation: Wanna watch My Cool videos? Type ON BELL and send to 33933. MP3, MTV, etc await you. All registrations are FREE. Wait for it, babes. Please publicise this. From: BeLL (forwarded message).

Ohkay... it's spam advertising. The moment you reply ON BELL you're probably gonna have your number on multiple spammer lists, and you're gonna get gang-spammed like you dropped the soap in prison.

But that's fine. It doesn't happen often enough. Then I receive this:

From: Hotlink
MESSAGE PLUS dr Hotlink! Anda boleh menghalang mesaj spam/sms yg tidak diingini dr no. Hotlink yg tidak dikenali.Hantar REG ke 21000 utk melanggan.Hanya RM1/bln.

Translation: MESSAGE PLUS from Hotlink! You can block unwanted spam messages from unknown Hotlink (012/017) numbers. Send REG to 21000 to subscribe. Only RM1 per month.

See, the thing is the biggest SMS spammer is actually Hotlink. Everyday I get 3 or 4 advertising messages from Hotlink telling me about random services, like the spam-blocker above.

There have been a few times where I'm driving to meet a friend or the missus when suddenly my phone receives a message. Naturally you'd wanna check, in case your friend has had a change of plans or something. So balancing my car on two wheels whilst dodging an entire squadron of Mat Rempits, I somehow manage to squeeze my phone out of my jeans pocket...

...only to see that it's yet another advertisement from Hotlink. Cheebai motherfunction!

Can I give RM1 a month to Hotlink so they'll stop spamming me??

Work work

2008-06-23T17:59:43Z

I'm blogging off my new laptop, so no photos for now since they're all on my desktop or stashed in an Imageshack account that I'm too lazy to access now.

Aight moving on. I got a temporary job at some paint coatings exhibition.

Yes I have a job. Believe it motherfucker. I'm actually going to generate some value for a company!! Wow, amazing!!

However, whole thing only starts proper tomorrow, so Imma talk about something else.

Something else like how I am a brat spoiled by the wonderful public transportation system in Singapore. Thus, when I am confronted with waiting for any form of public transport for longer than 15 minutes, I feel it to be an inexcusable atrocity.

Nonetheless, that's a given with our world famous Malaysian pubic transportation system. I can bear with it. I'm the ghetto kid who took pubic transportation back in the day.

Except now petrol costs more here. And thus if you would use your wonderous common sense to do what economists try to do with their convulted supply demand curves...

...you'd realise that people will avoid driving their vehicles to avoid paying the exorbitant fuel prices. Thus! They will all cram into our tiny 3 carriage KTM's, making the squeeze just somewhat tighter than a pair of Kate Moss' jeans on Jabba the Hut.

That's fine and all, except some people don't have excellent personal hygiene. Therefore the experience taking a rush hour commute can quite frankly be compared to the plight of the Kurds when Saddam gassed them. Except of course the Kurds died within minutes.

Chemical warfare aside, after work today I went to catch Get Smart with the missus and co. All I can say is Anne Hathaway is hot, and the movie's funny shit. Rawr.

Comfort

2008-06-20T19:24:58Z

Okay I found my problem!

I've been living wayyy too comfortably. I have essentially just avoided anything that caused the slightest discomfort over the last few months.

Blah.

Alright to the point.

I shall now commit to writing new posts here, twice a week minimum. Oh and quality posts, not just filler like that crap they put on TV shows when the writers are out on strike or because the writers cannot come up with good ideas no matter how much they scratch their balls.

The end.

Shake your Money Maker

2008-06-13T04:48:40Z

Precisely why I like hip hop music.

Shake your Money Makey - Ludacris ft Pharrel

You can't beat lyrics that go:

And I...just wanna take a lil ride on your curves
And get erotic giving your body just what it deserves and..
Let me give you some swimming lessons on the penis
Backstroke, breaststroke, stroke of a genius...YUP
Call me the renaissance man
Get up and i stay harder than a cinder block, man....HEYY
Im just a bedroom gangsta
And i been meanin to tell ya that i really must thank ya when ya..

Crudely Prudish

2008-06-08T09:37:49Z

I am well aware that Malaysian media content is "adjusted" to skirt around the sensitivities of the numerous prudes within the nation.

I understand that the sight of cleavage may well cause aforementioned prudes to get aroused and fuck their own grand daughters.

Thusly for the sake of the poor grand daughters I don't mind not seeing boobs in my newspapers. Heck, if I really wanted to see some cleavage I'll just google Victoria's Secret. Yum.

BUT..!

Once in a motherfucking while it just goes too far...

Indecent?

"Whoo I'm sexy yo!"

SERIOUSLY WHAT IS SEXY ABOUT A FUCKING CRASH TEST DUMMY?!

THEY. ARE. COLD. HARD. PLASTIC. BOOBIES.

Some dumbass prudes really have to get a grip.

What's next? Is he going to look at a car refueling gas and realise that the gas pump and car gas slot are analogous to a penis and a vagina?

Oh no! He's going to save on petrol costs by using a "special fuel additive"!! But at least that will spare his grand daughters...

Fueling problems

2008-06-04T16:01:34Z

The price of petrol is now RM2.70 to the liter.

For comparison, you can have a 1.5l bottle of Coke for RM2.80, or about RM1.85 for a liter of the stuff.

Which basically means whoever invents a device to run your vehicle on Coke is going to be a very very successful person.

Coke - for more than just cleaning toilets!

Or better yet, when petrol prices are sufficiently high, you can get more mileage for your hard-earned moneys by burning the cash you have in hand to fuel your vehicle.

But I digress.

Perhaps there is a solution to the problem of rising fuel prices....

Perhaps there is a way around our addiction to polluting fossil fuels....

Perhaps there is an environmentally friendly method to deal with this madness....

Perhaps this solution is not just viable but sufficiently economical such that it can be implemented by the masses...

Perhaps..........

Ego trippin'

2008-05-31T08:40:15Z

"Dude, wattafark??"

My friend was going to tell me what I should be doing again.

I wouldn't listen. I knew what to do. I could handle this. I knew better than him, right?

At least that is what I told myself.

But then I floundered. I grasped for straws. Ultimately I failed.

And still I wouldn't listen. How could my knowledge be so wrong?

There had to be an angle I didn't know about. An unforeseen circumstance. An element I did not consider. Random anomalies that peppered the situation. A factor missing from the entire equation.

"Hmm...neu-ku-lear eh?"

Undeterred I trudged on. Learning a little more perhaps but getting nowhere still.

How could I?

In a world of uncertainty where theories could only work in an ideal ceteris paribus situation, what was I to do with my mere book smarts?

Vindicate my friend of course.

For all that I thought I knew, it could not hold even a snuffed candle to his experience and in-built street smarts.

Thus when he spoke, I reluctantly listened. He patiently delivered a volley of logical arguments that finally cut through the fog that was my ego.

He spoke of pragmatism. Of not simply pandering to your ego whilst doing ultimately useless things. Of ignoring that annoying mixture of emotion invoked by ego and doing what worked instead.

After all, emotions are only indicators. They are like the meters on a car's dashboard; telling you how fast or slow you're going in relation to the road. They don't by themselves drive the car that is your life.

You do.

Ancient conversation. But still definitely going into my Top-10 Palavers list, if such awards were to be handed out.

Have I ever caught myself reacting to my ego or emotions again? Of course. But only rarely.

And each time I do, I can clearly hear him say

"Dude, wattafark??"

THIS IS BEACH!

2008-05-29T14:08:31Z

Some craaazie insane tourism video by the Japanese:

I think the rock band guys look kakkoi enough, but seriously....

*points to nipple* THIS IS BEACH!

*girls appear on screen* THIS IS BITCH!

Unintended message, yes. But it sure does make me wanna go to Okinawa :D

On another note, if you think Japan's a nice and orderly place where everyone follows the law and anarchists are far and few in between, you haven't met the minority.

But of course we all know that the minority can never win elections that cater to the majority! Isn't that unfair?

Well, yes according to this guy; a champion of the minority!

OBLITERATE THIS NATION!!!!!!!! *pops the birdie*

In Japan during the erections, all campaigning candidates get an equal amount of airtime to expound their magnificent views. Additionally, their broadcasts are completely uncensored to ensure the media cannot unfairly restrict the message of any one candidate. I love democracy. We should have this here in Malaysia too!

Once

2008-05-27T15:58:23Z

Amidst all the pre-summer blockbusters like Speed Racer, Indiana Jones, Narnia, etc etc, the missus and I decided to go catch an indie film instead:

Why? Cos I like music.

Once is a musical filmed on a shoe-string budget. But don't expect unrealistic dance scenes like in Hairspray or Moulin Rouge. Instead you have footage shot with camcorders, which only seem to highlight the gritty realness of the film.

Adding to this sense of reality are the leads, Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová, who are real-life musicians; not professional actors. Thus, their performance is so natural you don't feel like you're watching actors on-screen but real people falling in love.

However, it is the music that really drives the film. By itself the natural chemistry between the leads and the realism provide enough to draw you in but the songs interspersed throughout the film are what truly involve you into the unfolding story.

Each song contains such emotion that it speaks volumes more than any dialogue between the leads can reveal. A particularly touching piece is the duet between the leads, Falling Slowly. You can't help but be moved by their performance of the song.

Bottomline: Once is an awesome movie. So go watch it, and get your hands on the soundtrack later.

An interesting aside: almost all the songs in the soundtrack are actually written and performed by Hansard and Irglová. Additionally, their on-screen chemistry blossomed into real life romance and they are currently dating.

Mmmm noodles.

2008-05-25T17:59:29Z

If you're one of my regular readers and if you rack your memory hard enough, you'd remember a little something about a OMG-SHO-KEWT dog that shook my hand in the missus' neighbourhood not entirely long ago.

For awhile I've not seen it and I thought the poor thing might have been given away or something similar. Then just the other day...

OMG!!

Every time I wanted to walk away she stuck her paw through the gate, wanting me to linger longer.

I am so kidnapping that dog.

On another note, have you ever tried Stip Fried Noodles?

Aside: I swear, if I have to fill up another university form my brains will dribble out of my nostrils like mash potatoes. Mmmmmm mash potatoes.

Fratire

2008-05-20T16:10:43Z

If you like American Pie or Superbad or anything where the main plot is centered around getting wasted or laid or both simultaneously, chances are you're a fan of fratire.

Fratire is the male equivalent of chicklit, a genre that focuses on modern day chick stuff like shopping and relationships and work and well Sex and the City. Yes they're shallow genres that make puddles look like the Mariana trench. But hey, I'm not judgmental about my cheap entertainment sources.

Anyway the point of this is that I added a new link in my worthy reads list: tuckermax.com

Yes it is fratire, the author something like Stiffler of American Pie. He gets wasted and fucks more pussy than the Surgeon General would consider medically safe while being a well-balanced all-rounded asshole.

If you're a whimpy chode who has chronic door-mat-syndrome, go read some fratire and sprout some testicles out of your vagina. Thank you sekian terima kasih.

Greed is goooooood.

2008-05-16T07:56:29Z

Wall Street is a pwnage movie; if for no other reason then for this singular quote:

"The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works. Greed clarifies, cuts through, and captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit. Greed, in all of its forms; greed for life, for money, for love, knowledge has marked the upward surge of mankind."

-Gordon Gekko-

Even so, at the end of the movie there's the expected morality lesson on how being unethical and greedy will result in your undoing. But then again, almost every bloody movie or book our there always has a stupid moralistic cop-out in the end. It's as if the masses cannot accept a movie if it violates their sense of morality.

"Oh noes! My delicate sense of morality!"

I say fuck that shit - let the goddamn bad guys win!!

Which is why I like No Country for Old Men. They didn't dispense with the moralistic crap - the bad guy just comes around and kicks the warm turd out of everyone else. Can you say Hallelujah??

Okay now back to basics...

Back to the topic. Watch Wall Street to see how human greed manifests. Oh but know at least a wee bit about stocks first before watching or you might get a little confused.

The End.

Doe-Tar

2008-05-13T16:58:13Z

Happy May 13th!

Amid fears that certain parties within the country would take the opportunity to "commemorate" the day by causing violence in KL, thankfully nothing happened.

It seems that a certain Mr KJ did not summon his Rempit creeps from the numerous potholes in the roads to wreak havoc upon the city.

RAWRRRR!! R3MP1T5 - RISE FR0M TEH P0THOL3ZZ!

SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM CREEPS!!

Not that I care, I'd use my creep clearer skillz + cleaver item to clear off a few waves then I b so I can buy boots...

DotA is retarded.

Do you know why it is called Defense of the Ancients?

It's because your aim in the game is to defend the Ancients.

Duh.

Thank me for being more obvious than an obese man in an anorexia clinic.

Ever wonder why they are called 'Ancients'? It's simply cos of what they are:
Sentinels: A giant and very expensive Old Ginseng Root .
Scourge: A very old and very Moldy Popsicle that was left in the fridge when Beatles' songs were actually sung by the Beatles themselves.

Ta-da! You're eternally ingratiated to me for de-mystifying this mysterious game.

Now syaddarp and lissen to the DotA song:

On another note, Kevin ~~insisted~~ asked nicely for a blogvertisment:

Kevin wants to work on Madison Avenue.

What do women REALLY want? Mr Kevin Chan explains this Friday.

Be curious, I command you to!!!

I'm a "capitalist peeeeg"!!

2008-05-12T16:13:16Z

Lately I've been playing lotsa lotsa lotsa Capitalism II.

Capitalism is a strategy game, much like Sim City. However instead of running a city, you're in charge of a company.

There are a few industries your company can enter, each with its own nuances and challenges. Want to be a retail giant like Carrefour or Wal-Mart? Erect a few supermarkets or departmental stores in the city area. Prefer producing things instead? Source for raw materials and build some factories to turn them into finished products.

Overall the game is highly entertaining, with a moderately steep learning curve.

I'd recommend it if you want to know a little about businessy stuffs. But don't rely on it to become the next Donald Trump. The game lacks the finer nuances as it simplifies everything. Things like taxes aren't taken into account. Employee healthcare, insurance, dental, and what-not benefits are not included. You can't trade options or even short/long stocks on the market. Blah blah blah you get the point.

That is all.

Ironed Man

2008-05-10T15:34:09Z

Damn I should be Tony Stark.

Weapons genius, business man, superhero and playa.

Note the weapons part. Damn I love weapons!!!

If I could raise a business selling instruments of death I'd be happier than a paedophile in a kindergarten. Like, seriously.

The first product off my production lines would of course be a real-world version of the MA5C (the famous assault rifle from the Halo series). I know for damn sure I already have a huge market - any X-Box totting pimply fan of the game would drool at the thought of owning a real life version of Master Chief's gun.

..although I have his very vivid image of Bern picking one up and going on a shooting rampage..

Ok back to the original topic lol. Ironed Man is seriously a cool movie, go and watch it.

If you're not so into explosions, visual effects, and dramatic fight scenes then at least watch it for Stark's absolute cockiness (only at the start of the movie... he gets a bit more pussified later on):

Christine Everheart: Rehearse that much?
Tony Stark: Every night in front of the mirror before bedtime.
Christine Everheart: I can see that.
Tony Stark: I'll like to show you firsthand.

Christine Everheart: Have you ever lost an hour of sleep your whole life?
Tony Stark: I'd be prepared to lose a few with you.

Fearless

2008-05-04T16:02:47Z

My parents don't get along with me simply because I am me.

Or rather because I have a set of life values and philosophies that run counter to theirs.

I believe in not conforming, that there is always a better way to do things than the majority usually do. I believe in a life lived without fear of failure - not because I enjoy failure but because I am confident I can hedge my risks with knowledge; and when I do fail I can take it positively, learn from it and put it behind me. I want to live driven by desire of success rather than simply reacting to the fear of failure.

Essentially I'm labeled an anarchist.

Which makes me fuckin' cool by the way.

I feel my view is shared and expressed better by Tynan. Please read his post here.

"There are massive benefits to living differently. It makes you think about things rather than going through life like a sheep. You feel proud about your life because it’s something you have built, rather than something that you were shoehorned into. You can’t help but be constantly happy because you are doing what you want to be doing, not what you’re told you want to be doing."

In other news I went for Ben&Jerry's Free Cone Day last Tuesday!

Riana-elah-elah and I dropped by Great World City, simply because that place is deader than dried salted fish. Which was a good idea since we waited less than 5 minutes for the cones.

Yes I am gloating to the folks out there who went to Cathay or Vivo and had to wait 3 hours haa!

Fish lurrrve ice cream!!

Trained to be Inefficient

2008-05-01T16:54:40Z

Happy Labour Day!!

Lack of posts thanks to internet diet. I wanted to blabber more about this but decided to condense it.

Anyway enough about me. On to the topic du jour!

I was in Singapore the last few days. No don't expect me to write anything about that - I'm lazier than a couch potato who had an operation done to place his stomach is outside his chest cavity - just so he can save himself the trouble of chewing. I hope I grossed you out.

When it was time for me to go back, it turned out that there were no bus tickets left. Apparently everyone wanted to split town just because it was Labour Day the following day (today la).

So... I was left with one choice... the Katie M. 'Why not,' I thought - it would be an experience.

The half a kilometer long train.

Of course there's one problem with taking a KTM train:

It is run by Keretapi Tanah Melayu Berhad.

Which means that it is a lesson in inefficiency. University economics professors flock to our great train company just to study the great effort put into making sure things are never running on time. In fact, Yovec's 7 Habits of Highly Ineffective People drew major inspiration from KTMB.

Can you imagine how surprised I was when the train arrived back in KL 2 hours late? My, I was more shocked than Samy Velu when he realised he wasn't going to have a cabinet post this time around...

"OH NOES!"

Nonetheless it still was an interesting experience.

Look! Couple seats! Except of course I was travelling with my grandma....

The train has a very intriguing sign on its toilets...

Like, huh?

Until of course I figured out why...

Just out of sheer curiosity I peered down the toilet hole.

And yes you guessed it - I can see the fucking tracks rushing by below.

PEOPLE!! There's a reason why they tell you not to walk on the tracks. Now you know.

Oh and there's also another sign...

Well signs with rules on them (or rather rules in general) are merely suggestions to me...

I'll try to compile the videos I took leaning out of the train door. Almost got a manicure from passing bridge railings and tunnel walls. But it was awesome nonetheless!

Time haemorrhage

2008-04-19T00:27:40Z

I love the internet. If I could be permanently online 24/7 by having a cyberbrain installed a la Ghost in the Shell, I would do it without a second thought.

Though I swear I'd get a seizure if some idiot MSN nudges me all of a sudden.

The internet is the great God of Knowledge that provides nearly all the answers I can ever need. For the mere mortals that can access it, limitless quantities of information may be had. The only cost is time and thought to sift out unsound bits of knowledge.

Googling has become my first response when faced with any situation. Google is the deity from whose being instant enlightenment flows. Whenever I seek guidance, the voice of Goo will set me on The Right Path. Goo is eternal, Goo is ever-knowing. Goo asks nothing from us but our queries. In return, Goo will always answer our ~~prayers~~ queries. Truly, ask and ye shalt receive.

"For Goo was designed for the world, that Goo gave limitless Knowledge, that whosoever knew this Knowledge shalt not be ignorant, but have fulfilling lives"

One Goo to rule them all.

Holy Moohoo Glue™! I'm committing idolatry! Meh doesn't matter. No God is going to judge me when I die.

I believe when we die our "Heaven" or "Hell" exists within a super computer composed of all the atoms in the universe. As the universe contracts (the Big Crunch theory) the computing power of this cosmic computer approaches infinity. Thus in the microsecond before the universe is packed into a single iota, the cosmic computer will be able to simulate an infinite number of quantum brain states. This means that every being who has ever lived, or will ever live, will be resurrected and perceive their resurrection to last an eternity (but only because of the infinite number of quantum brain states simulated - in reality the simulation only lasts for a split second).

Interesting aight. It's called Tipler's Omega Point.

Wayy better than the ol' cloudy heaven idea. Windows just totally wrecked that perception. I mean, I've already spent an eternity looking at the stupid blue sky and cloud thing as Windows loads up. Seriously wtf I don't need another eternity of the same thing.

So anyway Imma get to the point of this post.

The point is I'm going on an internet diet.

Yes that's right - an internet diet. Which basically means I'm only going online from now on between 11pm to 1am.

I'm doing this because I get nothing else done when exposed to the internet. I'll just trawl for hours on end for interesting bits of knowledge. Hours and hours and hours of mindless searching for arguably esoteric knowledge (note Tipler's Omega Point above).

What a waste of time!

So anyway yeah, if you see me online outside 11pm-1am gimme a kick.

Nerdism quirks

2008-04-16T16:11:02Z

I just spent the last few days reading all the comics on xkcd.

The nerdiest thing is, I get just about all the jokes save for the programming ones.

Additionally I do actually walk funny when crossing tiled floors. In some strange attempt to create a fixed pattern in my footsteps, I would either walk on all the darker tiles or every alternate one depending on how far apart they are.

In Singapore where there are storm drain covers on the side walks, I would maintain a steady walking pattern so that either my left foot or right foot always strikes the metal drain covers with an exact number of steps between each cover. I.e:

Left (clunk!) Right Left Right Left (clunk!) Right Left....

And then of course I get annoyed when going around corners, since the next drain cover would be a bit further and I would have to shift the oscillation of my foot-strike-drain-cover pattern by one step or π/2 phase forwards...

Then of course there are other random quirks I have, like trying to create symmetrical patterns by imaginarily tracing lines joining the corners of my ceiling boards. Or shifting my position so that from my view, the open window pane forms right-angled triangles with the grille. Or constantly calculating in my mind the shortest route through any locale (pythagoras usually works here).

I'm definitely a Class-A example of nerdism. And I'm proud of it, motherfucker!

Happyness.

2008-04-14T17:23:51Z

Firstly, thankiuu for all the birthday wishes, friends, ~~Romans and countrymen!~~!! (^___^)

You guys fucking rawk!! =)

The Beagles.

Aside from dinner with my mom yesterday, I got a set of Altec Lansi speakers from me dad.

But since I'm a very lazy person, I haven't hooked it up yet. Thus I'll talk about it anudder day hokay.

Anyway today the gf came over with...

CUPCAKES! Filled with chocolate =)

I'd wanna go on about how delicious it is, but y'all gonna be like, "Yeah lah yeah lah. Sure must say nice cos ur gf made aight?"

So I wont. I'll just makan only :D

"Eh but Roger, why for your b'day need all the hearty hearty stuff on your cupcakes?"

Cause it's also our 2 month anniversary.

No I won't be writing a "waa two months I lub you dahling with water-based lube" kinda post cause I'm not adolescent enough for that. Nor is our relationship that superficial.

But I will assert that she's the best thing to happen to me, and despite my cynicism towards the concept of 'true love' I find that she's made me believe in it.

For 'true love' I realise is not something you go looking for. It is something you make. It arises from the moments spent together, the manner in which you accommodate each other's idiosyncrasies and insecurities, through the hardships and problems you overcome together.

Here's the music video for that song, dear.

It's a weird arty thing. Rie Fu did go to St Martins haha.

Severe nerdism

2008-04-13T15:01:15Z

DID YOU KNOW...

That Google has the ability to convert metric or imperial measurements into units within the Potrzebie System of Weights and Measures?

Right click and view image to see full size.

Yes there actually is such a system of measurement. It was developed by Professor Donald Knuth, a renowned computer scientist at Stanford University and touted to be a revolutionary system for the future.

Except of course, the system was created by the good professor when he was 19 and published in only one "scientific" journal: MAD Magazine #33 June 1957.

Which makes it even more amusing that the programmers at Google included a Potrzebie converter into the Google Calculator.

This is a case of severe nerdism - the syndrome where an author includes an obscure reference that only a niche group of like-minded geeks would comprehend.

A prime example would be the xkcd webcomic.

Or of course Knuth's sense of humour.

Anyway go, go! Play with your newfound nerdism unit converter!

Go to Google and type

1 potrzebie in cm

or any of the other units of measurements listed above.

Accident

2008-04-12T06:28:44Z

"Children in the backseat cause accidents
Accidents in the backseat cause children."

I had my first automotive accident today.

Blardey hell it's not my fault. It happened as I was cautiously turning into the lane that leads to my neighbourhood.

Now a little background about this lane. It is near to a major T-junction along Old Klang Road with traffic lights to regulate the flow of vehicles. To get to the lane you have to hang a right at this junction and make a rather sharp turn and viola you're in my 'hood.

Naturally, if you have even an iota of driving experience, you'd know that at a traffic lighted crossroads when the lights for you are green, you're allowed to move in the following directions:

Me is the bluey car.

The diagram above is a very much simplified version of the junction at my place. There are three lanes for both directions, so it really is a major intersection.

Thus sometimes some smart motherfucking motorbikers will decide that since there are two lanes for oncoming traffic to turn into the right-bound road, they can break the law and run the lights.

Of course I'm aware of this. Thus I always slow down as I move through the junction and inch towards the left to get to my lane. Turn signals are mandatorily flashing like a perverted old man at a girls' school.

As a I guessed one smart motherfucker motorbiker ran the red lights. I let him pass thinking I'm such a good model motorist for being preemptively aware of smart motherfuckers.

Unfortunately I wasn't aware of a second smart motherfucker motorbiker. Just as I was about to turn into my lane, the asshole hit the side of my car like a torpedo jacked up on steroids.

I lowered the passenger side window and yelled at the rider, the sole offspring of a mating between a gorilla and a toilet bowl.

"DEI, RED LIGHT LA WEYH!!!"

No response. I blame it on his heritage - a toilet bowl gives me the same dumb founded stare.

Grr. Standard procedure: Stop by the side of the road to settle.

Now if you've clearly broken the law and damaged some dude's car, what would you do?

If you're a civilised person you'd offer to compensate.

Unfortunately as I've already mentioned, this is no civilised person. How civilised can you be if your mental development stopped even before your dad's sperm fertilised your mom's egg?

The motherfucker ran.

PUKI MAK PUNYA LAN CIAO CHOW CHEE BAI BHEN CHOD!!!!

I got his license plate down at least. My dad says since the damage is minor and there's no way to book the motherfucker cause it's my word against his there's no use making a report.

Lanciao. If I find his bike Imma stick a rag in his gas tank and light it.

Dent and scratches.

Yes its a Proton. If you look closely enough at the dent, under the paint you can clearly read: Knife Cooking Oil